Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
