I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
