Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
