Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
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Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
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Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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