So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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