The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
