i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Randomize
