So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
