Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
my poor anus
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
