White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
