The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
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