Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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