News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Randomize
