girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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