drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
