You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
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