new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
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