Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
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i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
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Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
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