Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I'm at about main and main street
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
