I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Randomize
