but the lizard people decide everything anyway
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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