i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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