i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
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