I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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