omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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