i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Found the puke drawer
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Randomize