i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
