He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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