i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I think a kid would responsible me up
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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