Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Randomize
