I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize
