well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Randomize