I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
