If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
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I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
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Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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