So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Randomize
