i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
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