I didn't shave. On purpose
I just pynch a tree in the face
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
