I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Randomize
