Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
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