When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Randomize
