yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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