Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
i think my cat just said my name.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Randomize
