wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
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