What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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