he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
