dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to