Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.