when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT