If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
