Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Randomize
