you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize