I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Randomize
