I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
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